Forgiveness And Wellness: Making the Connection

There is growing evidence of the connection between mind, body, and spirit. It is well-understood that when a person’s body is injured, the injury affects the person’s ability to think and concentrate as well as their emotional state. There is now general acceptance that an emotional injury affects a person’s mental capacity and their physical state. Consider an episode when someone wronged you in a significant way, instantly generating feelings of anger, resentment, hurt and frustration. Could you even think straight when you were that enraged? Of course not.

Just getting behind the wheel of a car when you’re that ticked-off could be considered a health risk, but could you also feel your blood ‘boiling’? There actually is something going on in your bloodstream at those times: the release of stress hormones, such as cortisol, in the initiation of the so-called ‘fight-or-flight’ response. While this stress response is potentially life-saving in dangerous circumstances (like fighting off a potential abductor or needing to flee from danger), a sustained stress response because your friend forgot your birthday again is simply not worth the toll that is taken on your body. Here is a list of short-term and long-term effects from a prolonged stress response:

Vital Signs:

§ Increased heart rate

§ Increased blood pressure

§ Increased respiratory rate

Physical signs:

§ Headache

§ Backache

§ Abdominal pain

§ Muscle strain

Systemic Effects:

§ Weakened immune system (decreased ability to fight infection; far-reaching implications for cancer-causing viruses – for example, HPV and cervical cancer)

§ Increased risk of heart attack & stroke

§ Increased depression & anxiety

Heightened Sensitivity to Physical Symptoms

§ Increased doctor visits

§ Increased risk of unnecessary medical procedures

§ Increased vulnerability to substance abuse

Holding a grudge is bad for your health and can lead to life-threatening illness and disease. So how can we avoid these very serious health risks? Human beings have minds that are unique from the rest of our mammalian brethren. With a thoughtful response, we can short-circuit the body’s immediate reaction to an emotional injury. We are capable of breaking the cycle of negative emotions that is produced from minor transgressions and unimaginable attacks alike. We can forgive.

It has been said that forgiveness is the act of giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. Forgiveness is letting go of the hurt and resentment, refusing to use your energy to hold on to the struggle, relinquishing your role of victim. It’s natural to think of forgiveness as something that you do for someone else, particularly when we acknowledge that often the act of injustice results primarily from issues within the offender. Rather, the true essence of forgiveness is that it is a gift that we give to ourselves. The act of forgiveness restores our own health and well-being and allows us to not stay stuck in the past. While forgiveness is not forgetfulness or allowing yourself to be repeatedly used and abused, it is all about moving forward into the future without the baggage of anger or the paralyzing fear that a major insult could be repeated. The negative emotions are replaced by love, understanding, and empathy.

Unlike the body’s automatic stress response, forgiveness is a learned behavior requiring conscious decision-making and thoughtful actions. This is not always easy and, initially, can require practice and effort. Start small. Forgive the seemingly insensitive person who jumped into the parking spot that you were clearly moving toward. Were they perhaps so distracted that they just didn’t see you? Next, think of a grudge that you may have been holding against someone. Write a note to that person detailing how their actions made you feel (get specific about your feelings). Once the note is completed, throw it away at the same time that you ‘throw away’ the negative feelings that you described. Allow yourself some time and prayer or meditation. Eventually, you’ll find that thinking about that person doesn’t speed up your breathing and heart rate. You’ve rejected the poison of anger and accepted the healing elixir of love. You’ve regained control of your mind and body, reclaimed the freedom of your spirit, and given yourself the gift of wellness through forgiveness. Hallelujah!

Deidre S. Maccannon, MD, MBA, is a women’s health expert in Washington, DC. She is co-founder of Awakenings 360°, an organization that utilizes seminars and interactive group experiences to enable women to wake up to their lives and discover the full potential of who they can become. http://www.Awakenings360.com.